Self-care = Peace

So much has been said about self-care. It is a very popular term that is talked about daily. When I first thought about self-care and what I wanted to discuss the first thing that came to mind was were these caterpillars above my eyes (eyebrows). I then went to the mirror and thought wow Felicia your self-care is going down the tube because those eyebrows need some major TLC. I then looked down at my toes and surprised myself……girl you are way overdue for a pedicure! I sat on my bed and pondered this word self-care and I began to think am I failing when it comes to self-care?  Does self-care only pertain to physical appearance? How can I determine if I am making self-care a priority.

I decided to find the definition of self-care and to my surprise there were so many interpretations, variations and formulas to the fountain of self-care that it made my head spin. Among all of the definitions I found one word that resonated with me….PEACE. Peace. Peace. Could that be the secret sauce of self-care? I continued to dive a little deeper into my search and I found that self-care not only address physical care but emotional and spiritual. Self care is a continuum that looks different at different stages of life. Self care is purposeful, planned and specific. As I began to self reflect and think about my own life I realized that I could do better and it must first start with a decision. I woke up that morning with an overwhelming sense of peace but how can I maintain that peace everyday.

As we journey through this blog together you will see that I Love, love, love my family and I try to make sure that they get all of me. Well in order to get all of me there must be something for me to give. As moms whether we are working or at home or jobs never stop and many times we go until the gas tank registers empty. When that happens the other side of Felicia rears her smart mouth, no patience head and the family that I love so dearly can quickly become casualties. In order to prevent that from occurring I must immediately recognize that I am being a brat, communicate what I need to not be a brat and do what I need to do to not be a brat. It sounds simple but for me it actually requires that I set aside my pride of thinking that I can be all things to and for everyone.

Here are practical steps that I take to maintain peace (self-care).

  1. Ask for help. I start most days with prayer, reading my Word and journaling. It reminds me of who is in control and that He knows every detail of my life. One of my favorite passages of scripture is Psalm 27:14 – Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. Although is it one of my favorites scriptures it’s one that I contend with because it requires complete submission and unwavering faith. I’m learning to trust Him more and more. While I trust I realize that I can relax and breathe easy because I’m His daughter and He loves me. He loves me during the good, bad, disappointing, frustrating and indifferent and confusing.  His love is constant and unwavering which means even when I’m feeling unstable He remains firm.  Therefore, I can lean on Him so my peace and self-care begins with my relationship with Christ.
  2. Ask for help again! This past week I told my husband I needed more help around the house. Oftentimes when I leave work it feels as if I’m going home to my second job. Dinner needs to be made, laundry never stops, bath time, playtime, quality time (follow me) which leads to no Felicia time. I have tried to do all of these things and for a while it worked but eventually I had nothing. Marriage and parenting is a PARTNERSHIP. In our household there is no such thing as that’s a man’s job or that’s a women’s job. If we want this ship to continue to sail effectively and efficiently we must both take an active role. In addition, realize that the way my husband folds clothes doesn’t matter….the job is done which leaves more time for fun! Don’t ask for help if you aren’t willing to receive it in the way it is given. Ask for help. Hire someone to help you. Asking and receiving help has allowed extra time to invest in myself which ultimately brings me peace.
  3. Find something that you love and do it! Podcasts, long baths, and conversations with good friends are currently my top three. These are all things that are simple, bring me joy, cause self-reflection and do not require a ton of time. The older I get the more I realize that less is more and being content is a state of mind. Isaiah 26:3 says it best you will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast because they trust you.

Self care in nutshell for me is simple, easy to do, doesn’t require much money or time and it can be integrated into your life on a daily basis.