Learning To Love Again

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Experiencing the Valley

I never thought I would even consider filing for a divorce until March 2017. My marriage had reached the point of no return. I was angry, bitter, resentful, and broken because of a series of life altering events.  People rarely talk about the ugly things that take place in marriage.  And it is hard to confide in others because you don’t want your issues to be placed on display. I completely understand this dilemma because I lived it.

 

Making the decision to fight for my marriage did not happen overnight. We chose to live separately for a few months because space was necessary. We sought out professional counseling as a couple and individually. We were also counseled by the family pastor at our church. Reconciliation was a gradual process and it literally took a year for me to regain confidence in my own ability to forgive and forget.

 

Now that we are approaching the two year mark, I can say that our path has gotten clearer everyday but we have learned to be super intentional about rebuilding our relationship. I am personally learning how to:

 

  1. Let go of the past
  2. Pray for my husband
  3. Humble myself
  4. Seek out the good and acknowledge it
  5. Avoid the comparison trap
  6. Communicate my thoughts and feelings in an appropriate way and at the appropriate time
  7. Be clear about my expectations
  8. Be an active listener
  9. Show affection
  10. Be supportive

Climbing the Mountain

By the way, these are all things that I continue to receive counsel in. So I take this list and push the “replay” button daily. These are all things that matter to my husband. He in turn has a list of things that matter to me.

 

 

If I were to be honest, some days are better than others.  I’m grateful that my husband is walking this road with me because it has made this process easier. We are growing into new skin as we shed the old stuff with hard work. We aren’t perfect but we are becoming each other’s best friend again.

Doing The Work

Here are a few books that I would recommend for couples and/or those considering marriage:

          The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God    The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a Big Difference The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

 

 


Danielle Boyd

Hi!

I'm Danielle. I'm a wife, mother, and educator residing in Durham, NC. I am here to share my take on life through my own lens. I hope that my writing inspires you to live the life you've been given with purpose. Thank you for reading. Feel free to leave questions and comments as I would love to interact with you!

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